Sunday, May 16, 2010

Just another motorist.

I love the Allstate commercial that has happy families traveling along the highway. The one where there are no cars, but instead people smiling, swinging and barbequing along the interstate. The anti-road rage message of the commercial is-"What if we treated people on the road as if they were in our homes?" Love it. Beautiful.

But what if we treated people in our lives as if they were just another motorist in our way?

The other day I saw a large black pickup truck run a light, with no turn signal on and cut me off. I knew instantly that this was clearly going to be an asshole behind the wheel. I also intuitively knew that this smart son of a bitch would flip me off for beeping. Having this split second knowledge allowed me to beep, steer and flip them off (and I was 100% correct that those hillbillies would be giving me the finger) while safely making it to my destination.

What if I had this foresight in life?

What if I could tell within a second who would wrong me, and then give me "the bird" for being upset by their actions?

What if I could smoothly give a proverbial finger with my right hand while calmly navigating through life with my left?

Would it always be as satisfying as it was matching the 15 year old redneck sticking his finger out the passenger side window (and knowing that I didn't have to have my window down because MY car had air conditioning)?

Is it really satisfying to always "beat someone to the punch?" Or would it just take road rage off the road and onto our doorstep?

I bet the Allstate man knows. He has a very confident voice. Until then, I'll continue to treat motorists like loved ones, and even treat assholes like loved ones, and go to bed each night feeling one up on the world- at least morally. And maybe once in a while a hillbilly will get to stick it to me, but at the end of the day I get to be me and they get to be a hillbilly, and there's a victory in that.