Tuesday, April 5, 2011

My Life: A Series of Disappointments

Before reading this blog, please visit https://www.dateanddash.com/ and create your own speed dating expectation.

Disappointment- when ones expectations are not met.

I realize that often my expectations remain unsatisfied, even my low ones for basic human interaction. I had set the set the bar just about grazing the ground for speed dating, so how could I experience disappointment? I had expected awkwardness, uncomfortable moments, the challenge of suppressing laughter--I just expected about 1o dates worth of these.

I am an early person. I allow time for traffic, parking, protests, flooding, granny drivers, Godzilla reenactments and detours. This is part nature and part of the nurture that the city of Boston has given me. The event says to arrive at 8:00 to sign in. I arrive at 7:58 and am given a number 1 to wear as in I am the first loser here. I then sit at the bar for 35 minutes alone, the kicker being that I paid $17 to do this (thank you groupon, because if I paid the full $35 it would have really steamed my clams). The soundtrack to my life kicked in as the bar played, "I Don't Wanna Be Lonely No More" and "Me, Myself and I". Why not throw on "All By Myself" for the hat trick?

Finally after paying to sit alone at a bar on a Tuesday night, the event commences. I look around the room at 3 men and 3 women and take a swig of Sam Adams.

Date 1: Nice guy, just no chemistry. We end up discussing maggots on cheese, and if the maggots would actually make the cheese beneath better. This was my best date.

Date 2: Me sitting alone for about 6 minutes. Wait, this was my best date.

Date 3: Again nice enough guy. He tells me his day is hectic and he works from 8am-8pm. He then goes on to tell me that he takes an hour for lunch, an hour for dinner, works out there and then has a ping pong tournament daily. Today I had to remove a student from taunting me while dancing on a toilet seat who later bit me. I think our definitions of hectic work days might clash a bit.

Date 4: The guy asks me if I like to watch sports. I answer that I love going to games, but don't enjoy watching them on the old boob tube (I didn't say boob tube, but in retrospect I wish I did). I tell him I love playing sports and being active. He says, "I'm gonna be honest with you Kate, it's a struggle for me to be active. Work has been so demanding, I've been putting in 65 hour work weeks." I sympathetically respond, "Wow! What could you possibly do for 65 hours a week?" He responds "Deliver pizza. (pause). It puts a real strain on my car." I then ask about mileage reimbursement. He answers followed by creepily staring at me. I ask if he's okay, he responds. "We are just having an awkward silence." I appreciate the narration.

I return my matches page blank.

I'll take "Me, Myself and I".

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